Question Mark

Fourteen. (Question mark). 

One of my oldest daughters has a birthday marked by the day that she arrived at the orphanage. Is she fourteen years and two days old? Fourteen years and five months old? Or is she actually fourteen and a half?

I delight in my daughter and could celebrate her birthday any time of year. But it's hard to be her mama and not know so many details of her story. Imagine not knowing the details of your own story?

Here we are, with all the details accessible to us, and many don't even care. Were they born at night, or in the morning? How much did they weigh? In which hospital were they born, or was it at home? What was the date of their baptism? Did their parents have a party or take pictures? What church were they baptized in? It doesn't matter to most of us, because the questions have answers if only we were interested enough to ask.

If we had no way of knowing those details, the answers would mean the world to us and to our children.

Not knowing may be one of the hardest parts of any adoption journey, for us and for them. If answered, these important questions could tether us all to our individual and family stories in a more powerful way. 

In response to these question marks, I over-document their lives here with us. I take dozens of pictures a day and write detailed captions in our family photo books. The irony is that our children don't read those captions. They study the pictures, laugh at their awkward stages (that I insist don't exist) and turn the page. The words mean little to them now, because there is peace in knowing that their story has been captured, treasured and honored, here and now.

Though I can't fill in the details of their baby books, I will proudly be the writer of their story for as long as I can take a picture and record our family history that we're writing together. I hope this teaches them that their story is a stunning one, no matter when it began.